When I learned that Tarantino’s 8th film was going to be called The Hateful Eight, I didn’t think that it would actually be a hateful film. But after watching it, I’m happy to award this movie our site’s lowest possible rating: a single, lowly pot leaf out of five! Not only does The Hateful Eight bore the mind and offend the senses, it’s also mean-spirited and unintelligent.
To say that I expected more from Mr. Tarantino would be an understatement. All of his other films — even the mediocre Django Unchained — are worth multiple views. The man basically created a new kind of crime sub-genre with “Reservoir Dogs” in 1992 and filmmakers from around the world have been emulating his verbose, frenetic style ever since. He was able to keep his sword sharp for two full decades, releasing contemporary kung-fu flicks, gritty grindhouse romps, and riveting historical fiction.
But the Hateful Eight treats its audience like a customer at Dick’s Last Resort and the result is simply no fun. Even the blood-vomiting scene, which I was tempted to laugh at, was executed in predictable, pedestrian fashion. And the director’s non-linear storytelling techniques that typically shock and amaze wind up wasting everybody’s time with pointless reveals and supposedly edgy expositions. It’s just not as interesting — on any level — as the man’s previous work.
Almost gleefully, I award this movie one pot leaf out of five:
Despite being a watered-down, gaijin-version of the 1995 animated film by the same name, the latest feature-length GitS flick — the first live-action production to enter into the canon — is still a wonder to behold. This visual feast of cutting-edge CGI “reboots” (if you will) the story of Major Kusanagi, a human brain in a [sexy] cyborg body that investigates cyber crimes in a near-future, cyberpunk reality. Sadly, it is true that most of the esoteric intrigue of the original has been deleted to make space for a simpler and semi-predictable plot. But I was nevertheless pleasantly surprised by the final result: It’s a gorgeous and exciting homage to the classic anime (with many scenes taken directly from its superior predecessor) and it succeeds at eliciting some rather genuine compassion for its central, robotic characters.
Fans of the GitS franchise, which now includes four movies and two-and-a-half long-running TV series, have plenty to squabble about, of course. (And, yes, it is lame that Caucasian actors were cast in the lead roles of this traditionally Japanese production.) But Scarlett Johansson was fine and Michael Pitt (who was listed as “Michael Carmen Pitt” in the opening credits) was great, while Pilou Asbæk (who played Batou) and Takeshi Kitano (who played Aramaki) completely stole the show.
I was truly terrified that “Hollywood” would butcher these beloved characters of mine on-screen. But, in IMAX 3D, they looked stunning — and, more importantly, the underlying themes of memory and identity, which are recurrent throughout the GitS series, are thankfully intact. There are no improvements per se; the animated entries still boast all of the Major’s high-water marks. But this new, live-action version manages to hit all the right buttons. (The filmmakers even worked in an awesome spider-tank scene.) Just try not to expect anything to be as good as its source material.
I insist upon four pot leafs out of five: